Plum Desserts

Now the ingredients of leg before,
To be sure it is a complex law;
I know that this will trouble you,
The law of the LBW!

Do not get your legs or rump,
Caught in line of cricket stumps.
Use your bat to hit the ball,
Your pads on legs, protect that's all.

Left arm over, right arm round,
To pad away is sometimes sound;
But if your leg's still in the crease,
Innings ended, out, deceased!

Plump umpire's finger up: its plum!
By speed, or spin, or seam been done;
Swing or bounce of ball is what:
Out! To pavilion back you trot.

You maybe think that you did hit it,
Oh the tiniest tap, or thinnest snicket.
It would have maybe missed the wicket;
Oh such complicated game this cricket!

Up to Hawkeye, check decision.
Cricket laws of long division;
Confirms trajectory of this complex sum,
Middle stump hit, your out, its plum! 

How they stand!

In the stands they stand

The seated stand

All across the land

They understand

It’s the hope that kills,but Stokes’ skills

And luck and pressure and the crowd that wills

Ben Stokes; on bended knees now he can’t stand:

But supported by the England fans!

Ebbs & Flows of Test Match Cricket

Ebbs and flows, highs and lows

Pressure, depression 

Bat through a morning session!

Balls full length, mental strength,

Uncle Algie’s words of wisdom

Can’t score runs sat in pavilion

Throw the book, make your luck

Defend and leave 

Come on England we still believe!

Geoffrey and Vaughny Offer Batting Advice

Bat the morning take it slow 

Leave the teasers let them go

New ball fizzes swings and seams

Patience picks the balls to cream

Take the shine and rise above it

Test match cricket how we love it

Ebbs and flows later on make hay

Come on England seize the day!

Ring of Confidence

Will the ring of confidence

Desert the green and gold?

Will the Bilbo Baggies

Lose the fellowship of old?

Will Joe Root and his Archers

Remember Agincourt?

Will Headingley’s Yorkshire spirit

Level series at one all?

Ashes Headingley 19

The Ashes come to Headingley

For the wicked there's no rest

Archer bowls accordingly

And Stokes drinks Boycott's Best

Three cheers for series leveller

Hands up to make a ton 

A beer for all the revellers

Root's boys make it 1-1

Corridor of Uncertainty

In the corridor of uncertainty 

Bat wavers next to pad

The front foot dithers loosely 

The batsman has been had

Tempted to play firmly 

Swinging seam bites balding track

Deceiving fair and squarely

Edging batsman trudges back!

Boycott's Best

Sir Geoffrey plays one off his legs

Leeds Brewery ferments pale ale in kegs

Morning, afternoon or evening session

Drink in Geoffrey’s batting obsession

Resolute balanced batting calmy

Cheered on by the Barley Army

Long hops, short hops, savour the taste

Like Geoffrey’s centuries, no need for haste!

Scent of linseed, colour of willow

Hint of rhubarb, golden, mellow

Front foot forward his defensive stance

In aid of Yorkshire Air Ambulance

Fine pale ale, taste flowering rose

As Geoffrey flicks one off his toes

Another fine knock

As this opener cracks the bottle top

Tackles fizzers, how he comes alive

Boycott’s Best what a cover drive

Perfect line,  perfect length 

Brewed to give the perfect strength!